Falling to Pieces Read online

  I couldn’t imagine how I could be happy again. I couldn’t imagine any kind of life without Joe. The thought of trying ripped my wound open wide.

  Violet emerged from the bathroom and pulled me away from Neely Kate. “Come on, Rose. Let’s get you in the bath.”

  The water was still running into the tub, but the room was full of steam. Violet had put a fluffy towel on the closed toilet seat and hung my robe on a hook on the back of the closet door. She leaned over and turned off the water.

  “I made it nice and hot, just like you like it so go ahead and get in. I’ve put a washrag on the side, along with some of that lavender soap you love.”

  “Thank you, Violet.” My voice broke.

  She grabbed the uninjured left side of my face. “It’s gonna be okay, one day at a time, Rose. One minute at time if you have to. And I’ll be here every step of the way. I won’t let you go through this alone.”

  “Thanks.”

  Alone. That was my biggest fear. I’d lived most of my life feeling alone, ostracized from everyone and everything. Now that I’d had a taste of belonging to someone, I didn’t want to go back to that loneliness again.

  She closed the door and I stripped off Joe’s shirt, the scent of him still lingering in the cotton. I started to cry again as I took off my shorts and stepped into the tub, sliding down into the bath. The warm, almost too hot, water soothed my aching muscles, but my head still throbbed from my stitches and my crying. I grabbed the washrag and cleaned the right side of my head as best I could without getting my stitches wet. When I finished, I leaned back, resting my neck on the folded towel Violet had left for me.

  Logically, I knew I’d get over this. People broke up with each other every day and you didn’t see them falling down and dying of unhappiness. But unhappiness didn’t kill you that way. It was a slow malignancy that stole your hope. You didn’t fall over dead, you faded away into nothingness.

  I closed my eyes and thought about Joe. He was hurting too. He hadn’t wanted to break up with me. I saw how much it killed him to walk out my door. How was he coping, especially when he had to go back to his campaign? At least I had people who loved me and would help me through this. Joe had no one.

  I must have dozed off, because a soft rap on the door startled me.

  The door opened a crack and Neely Kate’s voice floated through the opening. “Rose?” She paused. “You’ve been in there a long time. Are you okay?”

  “Yeah,” I answered, but my voice sounded groggy.

  “You’ve got about an hour before we have to leave. Do you want to get out and lie down for a little bit?”

  I closed my eyes with a sigh. Life went on even when I didn’t feel like moving on with it. “I’ll be out in a minute.”

  “I know you weren’t hungry, but I made you some lunch.”

  “Okay.”

  The door shut and I climbed out of the now cold water, my muscles aching in protest. I dried off and put on my robe before going into my bedroom. When I reached for my underwear drawer, the partially open drawer that I’d given Joe for his things made me draw in my breath. I pulled it open staring into the empty space.

  He was really gone.

  I pulled off Joe’s ring and studied the diamonds. They weren’t very big, and I suspected Joe could afford bigger, but he knew that I didn’t wear gaudy things. The simpler the better. Tears filled my eyes, blurring the stones. Everything I’d been dreaming of the last few months was gone. Completely sucked away. Without Joe, what was left? I knew I was being shortsighted, but at that moment, I didn’t care. I didn’t want to think of a life without him.

  But Joe was right, as hard as it was to admit. I would be miserable if I tried to live up to his parents’ expectations. I tried to live up to Momma’s and look how well that had turned out. The problem with attempting to live up to other people’s expectations was that you were destined to fail before you even began. I had failed Momma and I would have failed Joe’s parents too. Then I would have lost him anyway. I couldn’t forget there was more at stake here. I couldn’t risk hurting Violet.

  There was no way to fix this.

  With a sob, I dropped the ring into the empty drawer and pushed it shut. I’d only known Joe four months out of my twenty-four years. I would get over this. Eventually.

  After I put on a pair of jeans and T-shirt, I found Neely Kate in the kitchen. “There wasn’t much in your cabinets, but I found some soup. Besides, my grandma says nothing warms a broken heart like a hot bowl of soup.”

  I smiled up at her through a fresh batch of tears. “Thanks.”

  She placed a bowl in front of me as I sat down. She slid into the chair Joe sat in when he broke my heart and I blinked back tears. Would everything in my house remind me of him? When I added all the days I’d known him, he’d been here less than half of the time. So why was he so much a part of this house? So deeply embedded in my heart.

  Neely Kate’s gaze moved to my ring-less left hand, but she remained silent.

  I could only get about half the bowl down before my stomach cramped, and I pushed the soup away. “I’m going to finish getting ready.”

  “Okay.”

  But when I stared at my reflection in the mirror, I realized putting on makeup was pointless. The right side of my face was bruised, and my eyes were swollen and bloodshot from crying. My hair was still dirty, despite my attempt to get the matted blood out. I was never going to look presentable. The Henryetta police were going to have to deal with looking at me.

  On the way to the station, Neely Kate bantered on and on about her sister and her grandma, purposely avoiding anything that had to do with Ronnie. When she pulled into the lot, she turned off the engine and turned to me. “Are you sure you’re okay with Mason taking you to the nursery? He’s bound to ask questions about why you’re so upset.”

  Why was I so worried about Mason finding out? I sighed. “He’s going to notice that I’ve been crying, and I’ll tell him. He’s my friend so there’s nothing for me to worry about. It’s silly to not tell him.” I smiled at her. “I just don’t feel like answering a lot of questions, but it’ll be fine.”

  “You can always call me if you change your mind. I’ll come back and get you.”

  And I knew she would. She’d drop everything to help me. I leaned over and hugged her. “Thank you. I promise, if I need you, I’ll call.”

  She walked inside the police station with me, and the anxiety I felt anytime I had to deal with the police crept up my spine. I took a deep breath as we entered the front door, telling myself that I had nothing to worry about. I hadn’t done anything wrong. But the chaos and emotional upheaval of the morning only added to my anxiety.

  After I checked in with the receptionist, she called Detective Taylor. He came up front, pausing in the doorway with a grim smile. “Come on back and I’ll take your statement.”

  Neely Kate squeezed my hand before she left, and I followed the detective into the same room I’d given my statement after Jimmy DeWade had tried to strangle me months ago. I’d been worried about what the police would do with my statement, but I’d had Mason and Joe with me. A fresh pang of anxiety hit me as I looked around the room. This time I was alone.

  “Where’s Mason?” I asked as Taylor shut the door. “I thought he was going to be here.”

  He sat down, his face expressionless as he watched me. “He’s running late so we’re gonna start without him.”

  “I’d rather wait for Mason.”

  He crossed his legs and rested his forearm on the table. “How is it that you’re so friendly with the assistant DA?”

  I may have been upset about Joe, but Taylor’s attitude lit a fire in my chest. “I don’t see how my personal life is any of your business.”

  “It seems that your personal life is what got you in the position you’re in right now.”

  “What exactly is that supposed to mean?”

  His eyebrows rose. “You tell me.”

  I’d had a craptast
ic morning, and I refused to deal with this too. I stood. “I think we’re done.”

  He leaned forward, anger darting from his eyes. “We’re far from done, Ms. Gardner, so I suggest you sit down.”

  I moved to the end of the table, my hand on my hip. “Am I being held against my will?”

  “Not at the moment.”

  I walked across the room and reached for the doorknob. “When Mason shows up, I’ll give my statement. Until then, I’m gonna wait out in the lobby.” I pulled the door open ready to storm out, but came face to face with Mason, nearly bumping into him.

  He grabbed my arm, his eyes wide with surprise. “Rose, are you leaving already?”

  To my irritation, my eyes burned and my voice shook. “Can I give my statement to someone else?”

  Confusion wrinkled his brow as he looked over his shoulder. “Why? What happened?”

  “Detective Taylor’s suggesting I brought the attack upon myself.”

  Mason’s face darkened. “Taylor, is that correct?”

  “Deveraux, I assure you that she misunderstood me.” Taylor answered in his easy-going, good-ol’-boy voice. “You know how sensitive women can be.”

  Mason’s gaze shifted to my face.

  I could have made a big deal of it and probably should have, but I just wanted to go home. I closed my eyes. “Let’s get this over with.”

  I walked back into the room and sat in the chair. Taylor’s mouth lifted into a slight grin of triumph.

  What had I ever done to get on his bad list? Back when I was on Bruce Wayne’s jury, Neely Kate had suggested that the police didn’t like me because I’d made them look incompetent by proving I hadn’t murdered Momma. I suspected that she was right.

  Mason sat in a chair next to me and listened while I gave my statement, every so often shooting angry looks at Taylor as he asked questions. With Mason in the room, Taylor’s attitude improved, but I still sensed an undercurrent of contempt. When we finished, Mason stood, keeping his eyes on the detective. “Rose, will you wait in the hall? I need to talk to Detective Taylor for a moment.”

  “Sure.” I said, casting a glance to both men before I walked out into the hall.

  Within a second of my shutting the door, I heard Mason’s muffled voice in angry snippets. “If you ever…I’ll make sure you…Have I made myself clear?”

  Thirty seconds later he emerged from the room, anger rolling off of him until he saw me. The hard lines of his face softened and he put an arm around my back. “I’ll take you home now.”

  I shot a look back into the room. Taylor’s face was so red he looked like he was about to have a stroke.

  Mason kept his arm around me as we walked out of the station in silence, all eyes in the station on both of us. When we reached his car, he opened the door for me and drew in a breath. “Jonah’s mother, Wanda Pruitt—otherwise known as Rhonda Bellamy—is being held on a hundred thousand dollars bond. After talking to Jonah this morning, I suspect he won’t put up the money to bail her out, even if he had the money to do so.” His hand rested on my shoulder as he looked into my eyes. “Rose, I want you to know she won’t be able to hurt you again. And if by some miracle she comes up with the bail money, I’ll be sure to let you know as soon as I know it.”

  “Will you be trying her case?”

  “No, not since I was personally involved in her apprehension. The DA will be prosecuting her.”

  “Oh.” I couldn’t imagine the pain Jonah was going through after finding out what his mother had done. “How’s Jonah doing?”

  “He’s still in the hospital, but he’ll probably get out tomorrow. He’s pretty upset about his mother, but he’s got plenty of the older women who are under his spell waiting outside his door, eager to help him when he gets home.”

  “I found out why all the older woman love him so much. He told me yesterday.” Everything from the day before seemed like it happened weeks ago.

  Mason’s eyes widened in surprise. “Did you now?”

  “It’s because he spends time with them. They’re just lonely old women who need someone to talk to. Jonah likes their cooking and they like his company. Nothing suspicious there.” I dropped my gaze, unable to look at Mason. The older women’s loneliness only reminded me of my own.

  “Well, thank you for setting the record straight.”

  I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

  “I’ve dealt with Taylor, but you need to let me know if he upsets you again.”

  I closed my eyes and leaned against the car. “You didn’t have to do that, Mason. Now he’ll hate me even more.”

  “If you think I’m going to stand back and let him treat you disrespectfully, then you don’t know me very well at all,” he said, his voice hard.

  I opened my eyes. “I do know you, Mason. That’s why I said it. I don’t want you to get into trouble because of me.”

  A soft smile lifted his mouth. “Don’t worry about me. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”

  “And so am I.”

  Pride filled his eyes. “You’ve proved that time and time again, Rose, but it doesn’t mean I can’t intervene on your behalf when I feel the need.”

  Joe said he’d take care of me and where was he now? I spun and slid into the front seat, trying to keep my tears at bay. Was there no end to my tears?

  Mason shut my door then came around and climbed behind the wheel. “Do you want me to take you home?”

  “No, to the nursery.”

  “You’re working today?” He sounded surprised. “Aren’t you supposed to be recuperating?”

  “I’m just working this afternoon, I need to do something.” As I said the words, I realized how true they were. I needed to feel the potting soil in my hands. I needed to be anywhere but home where memories of Joe lingered everywhere.

  Mason was silent a moment. “So, Joe went back to El Dorado?”

  I looked out the side window. “Yeah.”

  “Is he still on his undercover assignment?”

  “No, he decided to run in the senate race.” I was proud my voice didn’t tremble.

  After a couple of seconds, Mason’s soft voice broke the silence. “Rose, are you okay?”

  He sounded so concerned that I couldn’t stop a fresh batch of tears from rolling down my cheeks. “No.”

  Without a word, he turned into the parking lot of the hardware store, parking his car in the empty back lot. “What happened?”

  I took a breath. “Joe and I broke up this morning.”

  He was silent for several seconds. “I’m sorry.”

  “You’re not going to ask why?”

  “I already suspected. You’ll tell me if you want me to know.”

  I sniffed. “How did you know we broke up?”

  “Your ring is missing and you’re clearly upset.”

  “You wanna know the funny part?” I asked, turning toward him.

  His eyes were full of support and he grimaced. “What?”

  “I was wearing his ring, but I never even accepted his proposal.”

  “So you broke it off?”

  I pressed my lips together. “No. He did. But we both agreed that I’d make a terrible senator’s wife.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  I released a soft cry, and he pulled me into a hug, resting my cheek on his shoulder. We stayed there for several minutes, one of his hands rubbing soft circles on my back.

  “I feel so stupid,” I finally said.

  He pulled back, staring into my face. “What on earth for?”

  “For crying on you two days in a row. You’re going to think I’m nothing but a big crybaby.” I rubbed the wet spot on his shoulder. “Now I owe you for the cleaning of two shirts.”

  He pulled my hand off of his shoulder and cradled it between both of his palms in his lap. “Rose, you know I’m here for you when you need me.”

  “I know. Thank you.” While I knew he was, I wasn’t exactly sure why he was. Was it because he was genuinely my
friend, or because he had feelings for me? Or a combination of both? I was too tired and emotionally drained to think about it too much. But I also noticed something else. While there was concern in his eyes, there was no pity. “And thank you for not looking at me like I’m pathetic.”

  “Rose,” he hesitated, conflict brewing in his hazel eyes. They seemed greener than usual today. “You are far from pathetic. I know how much you care about Joe, and I know you’re hurting, and I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry you have to go through even more pain than you already have these last few months.” He shifted in his seat. “But you’re strong and you’ll get through this. You don’t deserve pity. If anyone does, it’s Joe.”

  My eyes widened in panic, my breath catching in my throat. Why did he feel sorry for Joe? “You know about Joe’s parents?” Who else knew?

  “Of course I know Joe’s parents had something to do with this. But it’s probably better that you found out now how easily Joe is manipulated by them, before it was too late. Think about it this way: you’ve got entire life ahead of you, full of possibilities, even if you don’t want to consider them now. The only thing Joe has to look forward to is a life full of manipulation.”

  My shoulders sagged in relief. Mason didn’t know about the blackmail. If I were honest with myself, no matter how hard it was to admit, I couldn’t help thinking Mason was right. I suspected Joe had spent the last few months hiding from his parents because he wasn’t strong enough to stand up to them. Or maybe he knew what they were capable of doing to get their way, and he’d hid to put it off as long as possible. Either way, he was stuck under their thumb. When Momma died, I’d been freed.

  Joe and I were more alike than I realized. Only I’d finally escaped from my life of being controlled, and Joe was still imprisoned.

  I offered Mason a soft smile. “Thanks.”

  “For what?”

  “For helping me put things in perspective. You’re always good at that.”

  He grinned. “That’s what I’m good for—perspective and shirts to cry on.”

  I couldn’t hide the smile that tugged at my lips. “And putting police detectives in their place.”