Falling to Pieces Read online

  Her mouth gaped open in confusion.

  “I’m sitting here listening to the words coming out of my mouth and even I can’t believe I’m asking this of you.” I shook my head in self-disgust. “I can’t believe I tried to make this work. I was so stupid. But I couldn’t face losing you.”

  She stood in front of me, fear widening her eyes. “Don’t do this, Joe. I know you. You don’t want to do this.”

  “I’m not strong enough to fight them, Rose.” I shook my head, trying to hold back my tears. I needed to get myself together and end this. My parents were too powerful and I couldn’t risk hurting Rose any more than I already had. “You’re the strong one. Not me.”

  “What are you talking about?” She grasped my hands, her nails digging into my skin. “That’s not true, Joe. I’ve spent four months with you. I know you.”

  “No. You knew the me I so desperately wanted to be. A man free to live his life without family obligations. Free to love you.”

  “They’re holding something over your head,” she whispered. “That’s why it took you so long last night. You were telling them no thank you, and they threw something bad at you to make sure you did what they said.” Her eyes lit up with understanding. “It’s about me.”

  I closed my eyes. I didn’t want her to know the danger she was in. I was supposed to protect her, not put her in the position to be hurt. I’d failed her last night and I was failing her again.

  “No more secrets, Joe. We can’t make this work if we have secrets.”

  “You don’t want to know,” I pleaded with her. “Just let it go. Let me go.”

  “Let you go? No! We can fight this together.”

  “Rose, my parents are terrible people.” Defeated, I rested my head in my hands. “It’s not just about you and none of it’s true. But the media doesn’t care. They’ll run with it, and no one pays any attention to retractions.”

  “What is it?”

  “They’ve concocted some nonsense about Mike bribing county officials for his construction business.”

  Her face paled. “Oh, that’s bad.”

  “They have photos of Violet with Brody McIntosh coming out of a motel. They plan to say they had an affair and left their spouses for each other.”

  “Oh, God.” She looked like she was about to be sick. “What about me?”

  “It’s not true.”

  “I know. What is it?”

  My head pounded. “My father has set up an account in your name, and he had someone postdate the opening for last May.”

  “Why would they do that?”

  “He also postdated a money transfer for last May.”

  “I don’t understand.” Her voice rose in alarm.

  “Rose, they transferred the money into one of Daniel Crocker’s bank accounts. They set it up to make it look like you hired Crocker to kill your mother.”

  She looked like she was about to pass out so I sat in a chair and pulled her onto my lap. Anything to be close to her before I was forced to leave her. “I was gone so long because I begged and pleaded for them to not do this, not to take you away from me.” I searched her face, tears burning my eyes. “You’re the only good thing I’ve ever had in my life. I want you. You have no idea how much I need you.” I paused, the pain of what I had to do nearly consuming me. “But I can’t destroy you.” I groaned and pressed my lips against hers. “Oh, God. I can’t believe I even considered it.” I pulled her against my chest, burying my face into her shoulder as I started to cry. “If I love you, I’ll let you go.”

  Her head shook and she panicked. “No! I don’t want you to let me go.”

  “If I don’t, they’ll destroy you. They’ve agreed for me to have a test engagement to see how the voters respond to you, but the things they expect you to do and not do will make you miserable. You’ll end up resenting me for it. The life they expect me to live isn’t you.”

  She grabbed my face. “But it’s not you, either. Can you tell me that you’ll be happy?”

  “Rose, it doesn’t matter if I’m happy. My parents don’t care.”

  “But I care. I can’t let you do this, Joe. I can’t let you throw us away.”

  “Don’t you see?” I pleaded. “If I don’t run for this senate seat, my parents will ruin you. There won’t be any us because you’ll be in prison. Not to mention what they plan on doing to Violet and Mike.”

  She clung to my arms. “Then I’ll do what I have to do to be with you. I’ll follow their rules.”

  I smiled, but my heart wasn’t in it. “You think you can pretend you don’t know Neely Kate and live with it? You can ignore someone who needs help? It will eat you up inside. Why do you think I was so messed up before I met you?”

  “Joe, there has to be a way!”

  I leaned my forehead against hers, searching for the strength I needed. For once in my miserable life I had to think about someone else. I owed this to Rose. I couldn’t protect her before, but I could do it now. Even if it meant sacrificing the only thing that I’d ever wanted. “I wish there was.” I gave her a soft kiss. “This is the only thing I can do to protect you, and for once I’m man enough to do it. The irony is that I’m losing you in the process.”

  She waved her left hand at me, showing me her ring. “You asked me to marry you. That means something, Joe.”

  “Of course it means something. Losing you is like losing a part of myself.” My voice cracked and I kissed her, knowing this was the last time I’d hold her and touch her. How did I go back to my empty life and live without her?

  Rose was becoming more upset, and I knew I had to stop prolonging this torture. “No.” I slid her off my lap and stood. “I’m just making this harder for both of us.”

  I went into her room and pulled a bag from the closet and began to stuff my clothes into it, trying to ignore her pathetic cries. Everything in me screamed to comfort her, but I couldn’t.

  Last week I was planning to move to Henryetta to live with her. Now I was leaving her. How could this be happening?

  Rose stood in the doorway, but moved toward me. “Joe, please.” She reached for my hand to stop me, but I shook it off. I could barely make myself do this as it was. I forced myself to focus on what needed to be done and moved around her.

  She stepped in front of me. “Joe, stop! Please. We can figure something out. We’ll go somewhere together. We’ll run away, go somewhere your parents will never find us.”

  Could we? Could we find somewhere that my parents could never find us? We could live in peace and raise a family, and I’d wake up every morning with her next to me and go to bed every night with her in my arms.

  Rose held onto my neck and pressed herself against me. “We can go anywhere. How about we live on a beach where we can live in our swimsuits? Me half-naked all the time. You’d like that.” She gave me her shy sexy smile, the one she flashed when she was trying to be sexy but worried she was making a fool of herself. Why hadn’t I ever told her she didn’t have a thing to be worried about?

  My body reacted to hers, ignoring the orders from my brain, I closed my eyes, soaking her in.

  She kissed me softly and instinct and despair kicked in. I wrapped my arms around her back, and pulled her closer, kissing her with pent-up frustration. I reached for the back of her neck, tilting her head back so I could deepen the kiss.

  Her hands slid up, under my shirt, trailing up my back, and I held her tighter. I needed her closer. I couldn’t let her go.

  “I don’t want to lose you, Joe.”

  I stopped, staring at her in horror. I was supposed to be leaving her, not making love to her. My hands dropped and I tried to back up out of her hold, but she refused to let go.

  “You keep saying I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to you. If that’s true, then why aren’t you fighting for me?”

  My heart exploded, agony soaking into every cell in my body. She didn’t know what was at stake. My own soul was already poisoned by my family. I couldn’t let the sam
e thing happen to her. “Don’t you see that I am? I’m fighting so you don’t lose you. If I let you become the person my mother wants you to be, not only will you resent me for it, but you will no longer be the woman I love.” I tried to smile, to show her how much I loved her. “I don’t want you to change.” I gently pulled her arms from my back. “One day you’ll thank me for this.”

  I turned around and grabbed my bag. I needed to leave now, before my resolve broke.

  “What do you want from me, Joe?” she begged.

  I stopped in front of her, the pain on her face nearly my undoing. She was the one person I’d give my life to protect and to keep from feeling even an ounce of pain, and here I was, not only stabbing her but twisting the knife even deeper.

  I knew her. She’d hope this was a mistake. She’d hope that I’d come to my senses and come back to her. I had to make sure she really let me go. “I want you to move on with your life. I want you to be happy.”

  “Happy? How can you expect me to be happy without you?”

  I knew that her happiness meant she’d be with another man. The thought nearly killed me, but for once I needed to think about someone else’s well-being before my own. Especially Rose’s. “Promise me you’ll try.”

  She didn’t answer, defiance flickering in her eyes before she reached for her ring, tugging it over her knuckle.

  I put my hand over hers. “No. I don’t want it back. I bought it for you, Rose. It’s yours.” I lifted her chin. “I want to look at you one last time.”

  “I’m bruised and swollen. I don’t even have on makeup. This is how you want to remember me?”

  She didn’t even know how beautiful and special she was. I hoped to God when she found someone else he loved her as much as I did. But the thought of her loving someone else broke me, nearly making my knees buckle. I fought to keep from crying. “You’re beautiful. Yes, this is how I want to remember you, just like this. Brave and strong and willing to stand up for what you believe in. Don’t ever let anyone change you to be what they need. Me included, Rose.” I kissed her gently, her soft lips against mine. Then I lifted my head and walked to the door.

  “So that’s it?” She followed me into the living room and she looked so broken it took everything within me not to go to her and hold her. “It’s over, just like that?”

  I opened the front door and stopped. I didn’t think I could do this. If I really loved her, I’d do anything to protect her. Even if that meant setting her free. My damned parents had made sure of that. I was too stupid to see that they’d kill any chance at happiness that fell outside of their plan. “It was over from the beginning. I’ve just been waiting for my past to catch up to me.” Just one step out the door, Joe. If you love this woman, you will let her go. Still I hesitated. Once I left it was over. “Goodbye, Rose.”

  I shut the door behind me as my world crashed around me. I was on autopilot as I opened the car door and tossed my bag into the back and got inside. I was halfway down the street before I realized I’d actually started the car and was driving. If I was this big of a mess, how was Rose handling it?

  She was experiencing the biggest trauma of her life, and I wasn’t there to comfort her. I couldn’t stand the thought of her being alone and almost turned around to go back to her.

  No.

  Instead, I pulled out my cell phone and called Neely Kate.

  “Joe, is Rose okay?” she sounded worried.

  “No.” I knew she was asking about her injuries from the night before, but I couldn’t bring myself to clarify. My voice broke with my tears. I only needed to hold it together to get through this phone call. “She needs you, Neely Kate.”

  “I can get off at lunch.”

  Rose couldn’t be alone that long. “No! She needs you now.”

  “Okay.” She sounded scared, not that I blamed her. “I’ll go now. Where is she?”

  “She’s home.” I choked out. “Thank you.” I ended the call before she could ask any more questions and held it together until I passed over the Fenton County line. Then I pulled the car over to the side of the road and leaned over the steering wheel and sobbed.

  My heart irrevocably broken

  Part Two

  Rose

  Chapter Six

  Within a couple of hours after Joe left, I’d finally gotten myself somewhat together. And while I loved Neely Kate and Violet, I needed to be alone. All their hovering was making me claustrophobic.

  My cell phone rang in the kitchen, and my heart lurched, the possibility of who might be on the other end catching my breath. Was it Joe? Had he called to tell me he’d changed his mind? But I couldn’t make myself get up to answer it, scared my wavering hope would be defeated.

  Neely Kate cast a wary glance at me before she went into the kitchen, returning to the doorway with the still-ringing cell in her hand. “It’s Mason.”

  I sighed, trying not to cry with disappointment. With all the trauma of the morning, I’d forgotten I still had to go to the police department. “He’s probably calling to tell me when to go give my statement.”

  Neely Kate answered. “Hey, Mason. It’s Neely Kate.” She paused and pointed to the phone with raised eyebrows.

  I shook my head.

  “She’s busy at the moment. Can I take a message?” She kept her gaze on me while she listened for several seconds. “Okay, I’ll bring her down at one.” Her eyes widened. “Where’s Joe?” She looked at me with raised eyebrows, wanting me to provide an answer to the question Mason must have asked.

  I shook my head. I couldn’t deal with answering more questions at the moment.

  “Joe went back to El Dorado,” Neely Kate said then cringed as Mason responded. “No, that’s okay. I don’t mind bringing her.” She paused again. “Okay. I’ll tell her.” She hung up and leaned her head against the doorjamb. “Mason’s going to bring you home. I couldn’t think of any reason why he couldn’t.”

  “That’s okay.” I sighed. “Thank you.”

  “You know he’s going to find out sooner rather than later. He’s going to take one look at you this afternoon and figure out that something’s wrong.”

  “I know, but I’ll deal with it then.” I was about to cry again. “I need a shower or a bath. I’m still gross from last night.”

  Violet jumped up. “That’s a good idea. A nice long bath is just what you need. I’ll get it started for you.”

  “Thanks, Vi.” I grabbed her hand and squeezed. “Why don’t you go back to the nursery? I’m better now and there’s nothing you can do, especially since I have to go to the police station. I’ll call you after I give my statement.”

  Her mouth twisted in indecision. “I can come and sit with you.”

  The last thing Violet needed was to hear the horrific details of my kidnapping and almost murder. “I’ll probably have to be alone when I talk to the police. Or Mason will be with me. I’ll be fine.”

  She hesitated. “Okay, but why don’t you come spend the night at my house tonight? Just like old times.”

  I nodded. “Sure.” Old times. The last time I’d spent the night with Violet was months ago after we’d found out that Momma wasn’t my birthmother. But before Momma’s murder—and before Joe—I used to spend at least one night a week at her house in an attempt to escape Momma’s vicious tongue. “I’d like that.”

  She offered me a tight smile and rubbed my arm. “Good. It’s settled. I’ll pack a bag for you and bring it to the nursery. Neely Kate will take you to the station and Mason can bring you to the nursery when you’re done. If you don’t feel like hanging around, we can close early today.”

  I nodded.

  She disappeared into the bathroom, and I heard the water start to run.

  “Can I get you anything?” Neely Kate asked, still standing in the doorway. “Are you hungry or thirsty?”

  “No, just tired.”

  “If you want, you can take a nap after your bath. I’ll wake you up in time to go to the station.”

&
nbsp; “Don’t you need to get back to work?”

  She made a face. “Nah. Tiffany’s got it under control. If I go back to work, I’ll just worry about you.”

  “I’m fine now,” I said, wiping my face. “See? I’m not sobbing uncontrollably anymore.”

  “You’re still in shock, Rose. When this happened to me, I didn’t want to be alone for days.”

  I teared up again but tried to smile. “Someone broke up with you? How stupid was that guy?”

  “As stupid as Joe, apparently. But it obviously turned out to be a good thing for Ronnie.”

  I couldn’t hold back my tears, and she pulled me into a hug. I hated that people were going to think so badly of Joe, especially when he did this to protect me and Violet. If it were just me, I’d take on his parents. I’d go to Mason and tell him everything and let him put Joe’s parents in their place. But I couldn’t risk exposing Violet. Even if she was the one to put herself in this position.

  Neely Kate pulled back and looked into my eyes. “It’s going to be okay, Rose. I promise. It’s gonna hurt like hell for a bit, but you’re gonna be okay.”

  I shook my head, trying to catch my breath. “My life is nothing without him. If it weren’t for Joe, I’d still be scared of my own shadow.”

  Neely Kate scrunched her face in disgust. “Please, girl. Give yourself some credit. Sure, Joe helped encourage you and pushed you in a few directions you needed to go, but you were the one who started breaking out of your shell and becoming the person you are right now.” She smiled, tears filling her eyes. “And you’ve only just started growing.”

  I leaned my cheek on her shoulder, still crying.

  “I know right now it hurts like a railroad tie was shot through your gut, but you’ll get through this and be happy again. I promise. Look at me. That other boy broke my heart but now I’m married to Ronnie, and I’ve never been happier.”