Falling to Pieces Read online

  “I see that you’re upset.”

  “And that’s exactly why you did it.” I shook my head, amazed that my father would stoop that low. But why was I surprised? Hadn’t he proven he’d go to any lengths to get what he wanted?

  “I did this to prove to you that you need to let her go.”

  I twisted to face him. “What the hell? I haven’t contacted her. I’m doing what you asked.”

  “No.” My father glared his contempt. “You haven’t been doing what I asked at all. You may be here on the campaign trail, but you aren’t trying. Not since the first few days and now you’re losing in the polls. Voters smell apathy a hundred yards away and you reek of it. Where’s the enthusiasm you showed when you announced your candidacy?”

  The first few days I’d been numb with grief over losing Rose. It had been so easy to slip into my familiar role—Joe Simmons, asshat charmer. And Hilary’s presence had helped ease me into the persona. The press conference announcing my candidacy had gone well, too well when I took into account that Hilary had gotten carried away with her role as my fiancée, pulling me into a hug and an amorous kiss, and strategically placing her large-stoned engagement ring on my arm. We’d made headlines, even gotten attention on a national morning news show. We were big news and ahead in the polls right out of the gate.

  However, I’d still been going through the motions for a few days after that, convincing myself that Rose’s well-being depended on my performance. But I missed her more than I thought it was possible to miss another person. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, and Hilary’s continual presence made me physically ill.

  My fear for Rose had eased, and I’d let my performance slip. Why should I be surprised my father was here to remind me what I was really running for? Hurting me by pointing out that there was nothing to go back to with Rose was pure bonus.

  I shoved the photos back in the folder then turned away. I couldn’t face them.

  “I need to go make a few phone calls. Make yourself a cup of coffee and get yourself together within the next two hours or there will be hell to pay.” He stormed out of the room, leaving the incriminating folder on the table.

  I picked up the folder to throw it in the trash but I needed to see her again, even if it was in Jonah’s arms. Against what little sense I had left, I spread the photos on the table, searching for a photo of Rose alone. Most were of her with Jonah and Bruce Wayne, but I found one at the bottom of the stack. She’d been working outside and leaned on a shovel, looking at something out of view. She had on a pair of worn jeans and long-sleeved T-shirt, topped with a brown cardigan sweater. Her hair was pulled back and the wind had made her cheeks rosy. A hint of a smile lifted her mouth.

  Gripping the photo with two hands, I lifted it closer to examine her left hand. Her fingers were bare, and a knot cramped my stomach. Why would I expect her to still be wearing my ring? She’d never even accepted my proposal, not to mention I was the one who left her. But I still held on to the dream that she believed I’d figure out a way to be with her. But that was completely illogical. I’d told her that we were done. No going back.

  I shuffled through the photos with clumsy fingers and found several photos of Rose with Jonah, obviously taken the same day. In one they were facing each other as Rose gazed into Jonah’s face, holding his hand. A second showed them sitting on a porch, their legs pressed together and Jonah leaning into her. In the third, they were standing and in a tight embrace, Rose’s face buried in his chest.

  I felt like I was strangling.

  I heard a knock at the door but ignored it, sure it was my father coming back to gloat. Seconds later, Hilary entered the room and stopped next to me, taking in the photo in my hands.

  “Joe,” she said in a hushed tone. “Don’t do this to yourself.”

  A lump formed in my throat, and I fought to take a breath.

  She pried the photo from my hands and tossed it on the table. “Joe, you have to stop torturing yourself like this.” Her voice was deceptively comforting.

  I turned to her in my drunken haze, drowning in my agony. Rose had moved on without me.

  With Jonah Pruitt.

  Hilary reached a hand to my cheek, and stroked lightly before brushing my hair from my forehead. “Joe, you know your father will do anything to make sure you run in this race. Even resort to hurting you to keep you in line as evidenced by the photos on that table.” Her eyes filled with tears. “Don’t let him hurt you like this. Don’t give him that power.”

  “I can’t do this.” My voice broke.

  She pulled me into a hug. “Let me help you.”

  I clung to her, desperately wishing she was Rose.

  “You don’t have to do this alone, Joe.” She leaned back to look into my eyes. “Let me help you.”

  I shook my head, confused. How could Hilary help me?

  She looped her hands around my neck and pressed her body against mine.

  I stiffened at the contact. I put my hands on her waist to push her away.

  Her mouth hovered inches over my face. “Let me help you,” she whispered huskily. Before I could answer, her lips touched mine.

  I closed my eyes, feeling her tongue coax mine to respond. Weeks of pent-up sexual frustration erupted and my arms tightened around her back, pulling her closer as I kissed her back with an eagerness of my own.

  What was I doing? I jerked backward, bumping into the bed. “No!”

  She advanced toward me, her face soft and understanding. “Why are you holding back? Because of Rose? I know you’re hurting right now and I want to help you. She’s moved on, Joe, and so should you.”

  She was blurry through my tears. Had Rose really moved on without me? Wasn’t that what I told her to do? I choked on a cry of agony.

  “Joe.” She pushed me until I sat on the edge of the bed and stood between my legs. “I can’t stand to see you like this, baby. Let her go and let me help you.” Her hand stroked my cheek and smoothed back the hair off my forehead. “You have to let her go.”

  “I can’t.”

  “Why?”

  “I love her.”

  “I know you do, but she’s moved on.” She leaned into my face. “I love you, Joe. And I promise you that I won’t leave you, even when you tell me to go away. If she really loved you, she would wait, just like I’ve done. My love is real, Joe. I know you better than anyone knows you. I’ll be better this time. I promise. I’ll be the girlfriend you need. Just let her go and give me another chance.”

  I shook my head.

  She placed kisses on my cheeks, moving closer to my mouth. “You know you want this.” She reached for my crotch. “And I know you want this. Don’t fight it, Joe. Just feel.” She pushed me backward on the bed, straddling my hips as she leaned down and kissed me.

  I closed my eyes, giving in to the feelings cascading through my body. I’d been numb for weeks and welcomed feeling something. Anything.

  Hilary pulled off her shirt and tugged at my clothes, until I was naked. I kept my eyes closed, pretending it was Rose. Even in my drunken state, I knew I’d just sold my soul to the devil.

  But my life was so hopeless, what did it matter?

  Rose

  Chapter Ten

  A day earlier

  The crisp wind blew strands of hair loose from my ponytail as I pressed the shovel into the dirt. It had been two weeks since Jonah's mother had tried to kill me, but my back still ached especially since I spent the day digging up bushes.

  “It’s looking good,” Jonah Pruitt called out.

  I looked over my shoulder and smiled. “It’s getting there.”

  He stopped next to me, his left arm in a sling. He was recovering from his gunshot wound, but his spirits were still low. I imagined it would be hard to walk around in a good mood when you found out your mother had been killing women, reasoning that she was doing you a favor. “I’m just glad you didn’t hold a grudge against me.”

  I leaned against the shovel. “We’ve been over th
is before. Why on earth would I hold a grudge? You were just as much a victim as I was.”

  “Well, thankfully, half the town has been as forgiving as you.”

  “And the other half?”

  A wry smile lifted his mouth. “You really have to ask?”

  No, but one could always hope that the narrow-minded citizens of Henryetta would have an epiphany. “Well, thanks for letting us still work on your yard. Bruce Wayne needs the work.”

  Jonah’s eyes softened. “And maybe you do too.”

  I had visited Jonah in the hospital to make sure he was handling everything okay, and I’d ended up telling him all about Joe and the closest version of the truth that I’d told anyone about why we split. After he was discharged from the hospital, we’d gotten together for coffee a couple of times at his house. He was a good listener and not prone to giving unsolicited advice, unlike my sister.

  Violet had insisted that I stay with her the first week, and I had to admit that it was easy to fall into the old habit of relying on her. But she wanted me to grieve according to her rules, and I’d begun to feel smothered. So Muffy and I went home, as hard as the loneliness was to face. Even with Joe’s absence, home was familiar and comforting. Neely Kate had come over a couple of times with movies and ice cream, and we’d even had a slumber party one night, something I’d never had as a kid.

  But the best thing I’d done to make myself feel better was to jump back into the landscaping portion of our business. Word had spread about the job we’d done at the New Living Hope Revival Church, and we’d gotten two other jobs in addition to Jonah’s house, which we’d just started that morning.

  I snuck a glance at Bruce Wayne. He was digging up an overgrown shrub and had nearly wrestled it free. I liked working, but I especially liked working with Bruce Wayne. He was great company. He was there if I needed him, but didn’t talk much and didn’t constantly ask if I was okay.

  Just like Mason.

  After Mason dropped me off at the nursery following my interview with Detective Taylor, he had called and texted a few times, letting me know that he was there for me if I needed him. But otherwise, he’d kept his distance and I wasn’t sure what to make of it.

  “I’m glad you and Bruce Wayne have found each other,” Jonah said, pulling me out of my thoughts.

  “Yeah,” I sighed. “Most people don’t understand us. Especially Violet.” She’d had a fit when she realized I was not only returning to work, but still working with Bruce Wayne. She said I had enough strikes against me, that associating with a known habitual criminal would be the final nail in my social coffin now that I was no longer dating a state policeman.

  Jonah’s mouth twisted in a grimace. “Violet has her own issues to work out, but she avoids them by focusing on other people’s instead. I think you were smart to go back home.”

  My eyes widened in surprise.

  “Forgive me if I’m speaking out of turn.”

  I shook my head. “No. You’re only saying what I’ve already thought. Violet wants things to go back the way they were before I dated Joe and before—” I stopped myself from saying before Violet started having an affair, “—before Mike left her.” I released a heavy sigh. “But I’m not the same person I was before Momma died. And I don’t want to go back to being that person.”

  “And you shouldn’t. That would be like asking Bruce Wayne to go back to being the man he was before he was accused of murder. Why would anyone want that?”

  I nodded. He was right, but Violet was still unhappy with me. I’d always been her pet project until I didn’t need her anymore. She’d seen my breakup with Joe as an opportunity to go back to the way things were before. Only I wasn’t cooperating. “She loves me. She really does.”

  “Of course she does. No one’s disputing that. But she’s unhappy with her own life, Rose and she’s transferring that unhappiness onto you. That’s not fair.”

  A gust of wind blew several strands of hair into my face, and I pushed it over my ear. “You sound like a psychologist.”

  He smiled. “That’s because I am one. Licensed even.”

  My mouth gaped. “I didn’t know that.”

  “The license is under my old name. Before I changed my name from Jonas to Jonah. Which means I can’t use it.”

  “Maybe you should quit hiding.”

  He sighed and shook his head. “Rose.”

  I looked up at him. “No, Jonah. You try so hard to make everyone else feel like they have a second chance. If you told them about your past, it would have so much more impact that they could change too.”

  “Rose,” his voice lowered as he glanced at Bruce Wayne. “You of all people know how the people of this town would react if they found out about my criminal record.” He grimaced. “Henryetta might not be heaven, but I’m tired of running.”

  “Exactly.” I grabbed his hand. “So stop running.”

  He smiled but sadness filled his eyes. “I’ll think about it.”

  As I watched the conflict on his face, I realized I needed to take my own advice. I was tired of running too. “I’d like to ask a favor.”

  “Of course.”

  I shook my head, grinning up at him. “You don’t even know what it is yet.”

  “Honestly, I can’t imagine you asking something of me that I’d refuse. After what my mother did—”

  I grabbed his arm, my fingers digging through his dress shirt to get his attention. “Stop. You don’t owe me anything, Jonah.”

  He remained silent.

  “Don’t say yes, just listen, okay?”

  He nodded.

  “I know you’re not a licensed psychologist as Jonah, but you can still listen to someone as a friend, right?”

  “Well…yeah.”

  “Mason suggested that I should talk to someone about everything I’ve been through the last few months, and I suspect he’s right. The only problem is that I don’t know who to talk to since all my troubles have something to do with my visions.” I swallowed, suddenly nervous. “I was wondering if you would be willing to listen.”

  “Yes. Of course. But isn’t that what we’ve already been doing?”

  I took in a breath. He was right. We might not have called it therapy, but he’d been listening to me talk about my sorrows for two weeks. “But I haven’t told you everything—like Daniel Crocker and the story of my birthmother.”

  “You were adopted?”

  My chin trembled. “Not exactly, but it’s a complicated story, and I haven’t really dealt with it. Would you help me?”

  His eyes glassed over. “I’d be honored.”

  “You were supposed to think about it before agreeing.”

  “Okay, let me think about it for a moment.” His mouth lifted into a grin. “Yes, I accept.”

  Shaking my head, I laughed and gave him a hug, clinging to him. He truly had become a lifeline these past few weeks. “Thank you, Jonah. For everything.”

  His good arm tightened around me. “I’m not sure why you’re thanking me.”

  “Because you’ve given me something I haven’t had in a few weeks.”

  “And what’s that?”

  “Hope.”

  He leaned back and swallowed, struggling for an answer. Finally he gave me a lopsided grin. “Me too.” He took a deep breath and released it. “How often would you like to meet? Weekly?”

  “Or more often if you’re willing.”

  His eyebrows lifted in surprise. “You’re serious about this.”

  “I think Mason’s right. I think I have a lot of issues to work through before I’m ready to move on.”

  “You mean with someone else?”

  Tears filled my eyes.

  “I heard about Joe and his old girlfriend.”

  Shock jolted my body. “What about them?”

  Jonah looked horrified. “I’m sorry. I thought you knew.”

  My heart hammered in my chest. “I’ve purposely avoided the news. I didn’t want any reminders of him, which i
ncluded news about his campaign.”

  “Rose, I’m sorry.”

  “What is it? What do you know?”

  His mouth pinched as indecision flooded his eyes.

  “It’s okay, Jonah. You can tell me.” When he didn’t respond, I added, “I had a vision before we broke up. I saw Joe married to Hilary. I knew they would get back together eventually.”

  Sadness filled his eyes. “I don’t want to hurt you anymore than you already have been.”

  “Joe left me. He made it clear that we are done. I knew he’d move on, and it’s no surprise he’s with Hilary. It’s what his family wants.” I paused trying to catch my breath. I felt like I was drowning. “Now tell me what you know.”

  Jonah still looked uncertain. “When Joe announced his candidacy, he did it on the steps of the state capital with big media coverage. Hilary was at his side.” He paused. “As his fiancée.”

  I took a step backward. “Oh.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  I shook my head, but I was lightheaded and the movement made me stumble.

  Jonah reached out and grabbed my elbow.

  Bruce Wayne rose from the flower bed he was working on. “Miss Rose?”

  I forced a smile. “I’m fine. I just tripped.”

  “Maybe you should sit down,” Jonah suggested, leading me toward the front steps.

  “I’m fine.”

  “Rose, if you’re going to talk to me a couple of times a week about your past and your feelings, now is not the time to start lying to me.”

  Tears filled my eyes. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” I sat down on the front steps, Jonah sitting next to me. I shivered from the wind and the shock, and Jonah pressed his leg closer to mine.

  “I know it’s startling, even if you expected it.”

  Startling was an understatement. I felt numb. “The day after he broke up with me?” My voice quivered. “Are you sure?”

  “Very sure. I was shocked after what you told me about him. But I have to say, he’s getting slammed by the media. After their first couple of appearances, they haven’t been very affectionate.”