Business as Usual (Off The Subject) Page 2

  Caroline snorts. “I was going for not like yourself, which Reed will probably find comforting in this situation.”

  She has a point. If you look up the definition of overprotective big brother, you’ll find a picture of Reed. “Tell me again why I’m wearing a wig instead of just fixing up my normal hair.

  She looks at my hair piece and adjusts it slightly. “Because it’s fun. You’ve been moping since your break up with Brandon. Maybe this will help shake things up a bit.”

  I bite the inside of my lower lip to keep from confessing what really happened with Brandon. Caroline would never understand. As far as she knows, he got back with his ex-girlfriend from high school, who decided being a lesbian wasn’t for her after a brief affair with a girl from her chemistry class. It’s entirely true, except it happened after I broke up with him…

  Nevertheless, she’s right. I’ve been miserable about it for two months, throwing myself into school and my work with the Middle Tennessee Children’s Charity, which is headquartered here in Hillsdale. The charity is why I’m here tonight, backstage at the community theatre. There’s a mutually beneficial partnership between my university, the charity, and the local community, and I’m the student liaison this semester. I helped set up this fundraiser—the production of a comedic play, with students and locals filling all the parts in the cast and crew. Caroline is a senior fashion design major, so she’s helping with the costumes.

  While my friends are already aware of my proposed expansion of the charity’s summer camp program to include middle-school children, I haven’t told anyone about my plans to transform it from a glorified babysitting service into something special. The university has given me an independent study course for my work with the charity and I’ve used my time to model a program that will not only engage and challenge the middle-school kids, but possibly change their futures.

  I’m not looking forward to my small acting role in the play, but when I look in the mirror, I like what I see. Caroline is forever saying that clothes can change how you feel about yourself. Turns out a wig can do the same thing. I love the way I look, but I’m worried it’ll be too much for my brother to take. “Which one of us is going to prepare Reed for my costume?”

  Her lips twist as she tries to hide her conspiratorial grin. “Maybe it should be a surprise.”

  I tilt my head to the side. Caroline has even covered my dirty blonde eyebrows with black mascara. I don’t look anything like a natural blonde. “Good idea. He might not even realize it’s me.”

  She shakes her head with a laugh. “Trust me, he’ll figure it out. I suppose I should warn him or he’s liable to rush the stage when you walk out and throw his coat over you.”

  “The sad thing is, I wouldn’t be at all shocked if he did.” There’s a hint of bitterness in my voice.

  Caroline, who was packing up her makeup, pauses and meets my eyes in the mirror. “You know he loves you, Lexi.”

  Guilt pricks at me. I’ve never, ever doubted Reed’s love for me. If not for his sacrifice, I would be stuck in Boston taking a year off to regroup from the “incident,” as my parents call it. When I called Reed in tears, telling him about their plan for me, he was quiet for a long moment, so long I thought we had been disconnected. Then he asked in a soft voice, “What do you want to do, Lexi?”

  “I want to go back to school—” my voice broke “—I need to go back to school.”

  “You will. I promise. I’ll fix this.”

  He stormed into the house an hour later and got into a historic shouting match with our parents. He told them they needed to put what was good for their daughter before their worries about themselves. Reed’s a stubborn guy and he refused to back down, even when our father threatened to disown him. Hours later, my brother found me in my room, where I’d retreated from all the hysterics. He sat on the edge of my bed and told that me he’d worked it all out with them. That I’d go back to school in the fall and live with him in an apartment. Then he kissed my forehead and made me promise to call if I needed anything in the meantime.

  “I’m here for you, Lexi,” he’d said. “I won’t let anything else happen to you.”

  I didn’t discover the extent of Reed’s sacrifice until days later. He’d been accepted to Stanford University to do his Ph.D. under his idol Dr. Donald Knuth—his lifelong dream—and he gave it up for me. When I protested, he refused to listen. So instead of embarking on a sterling career, he became a grad student at Southern University, where he teaches beginning algebra and runs the math lab. When we moved, our parents made us use our maternal great-grandmother’s maiden name—Pendergraft—to avoid any family embarrassment, which means Reed also lost much of the reputation and credibility he had accumulated over his academic career. Yet he has never once acted hurt or angry over the choices he made for me.

  It’s a debt I can never repay.

  Caroline kisses my cheek. “I’ll talk to him, okay?”

  I smile at her, grateful she’s in our lives. Caroline may be Reed’s fiancée, but she’s also a dear friend. I wouldn’t love her any more if she were my own sister. She loves me too, which is why she always intervenes on my behalf. “I’m sorry, Caroline,” I say. “I put you in this awkward situation. I know you and Reed fight over me.”

  She laughs. “Did I tell you that our first fight was over you?”

  Reed and Caroline first met at a party, and sparks flew the second they laid eyes on each other. Only Caroline was intent on getting a date with another guy that night. “I thought your first fight was over Dylan Humphrey.”

  She smirks. “I mean our first fight as an actual couple. If you don’t count Reed blowing his gasket over me walking across the campus by myself after midnight.” She sobers a bit. “But after I found out why…” I sigh as worry wrinkles her brow. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have mentioned—”

  “Lexi, we’re ready for you,” the stage manager says. “We’re about to start the party scene.”

  I hop out of my chair and pull Caroline into a hug. “You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s the elephant in the room we all ignore.” I drop my arms and give her a sad smile. “But one of these days it’s going to sit on me if we keep doing that.”

  I hear my cue and go onstage, staying to the background until it’s time for me to say my single line. We’re supposed to be at a party, so I pretend to talk to Sylvia, my friend and fellow business major, whom I roped into participating in my work with the charity. My role is simple. I’m supposed to be a vivacious, life-of-the-party girl, so my movements are all exaggerated. Rob, one of the Hillsdale actors, walks onstage with another girl and I spin toward him and deliver my one line.

  “Why did I ever let him go?”

  It’s not a difficult line to remember. I ask myself that question about Brandon almost every day. Sometimes I see him walking across campus hand-in-hand with his old girlfriend and my heart fills with a crushing ache. Of course, it’s not necessarily Brandon who makes me feel that way. It’s the wish to be normal—to have a boyfriend and a chance at a family someday. I fear that that most simple of wishes has been stolen from me.

  We finish the scene and I walk off with Sylvia. Caroline is right where I left her, her sketchbook open. She looks up and grins. “You were great.”

  “I was passable. But that’s okay. It’s for a good cause and it was nice of them to include me.”

  She shakes her head and grins. “Give yourself more credit. That wig makes you sassy.” She winks. “I like it.”

  She spins her sketchpad around. “I’ve come up with designs for T-shirts for the summer program. See what you think.”

  She’s drawn a shirt with the charity’s logo for the girls and a toned-down version for the boys. “I know it would make things easier if they were unisex shirts, but I think the girls will be more inclined to wear them if they’re different.”

  “Oh, Caroline! I love them!”

  Sylvia wanders over. “Let me see.” She leans over and voices her approval. “You
are definitely lucky to have this woman on your team.”

  I release a nervous sigh. “Now, if we can just make enough money to fund the expansion of the program.”

  “That was our best rehearsal yet,” Sylvia says as she hops onto the table in front of us and swings her legs, complete with her four-inch heels. “Maybe the play won’t suck.”

  “Well, that’s good to know since our pre-show ticket sales are much higher than expected.” I have to admit the play wasn’t coming together very well last week. “We’re on track to fund almost a third of what I’m planning for the kids this summer.”

  Her eyes widen. “You say that like you’re surprised.”

  “Well…we threw this together pretty fast.”

  Sylvia shakes her head. “Girl, no one can say no to you. You’re like a force of nature. Once you have your sights on something, you make it happen.”

  Caroline spins her notebook around and laughs. “Don’t I know it.”

  My mouth parts. “Why would you say that?”

  Sylvia shakes her head in disbelief. “How about the way you got the Monroe Foundation to help sponsor the Southern Fall Fashion Show just so you could get Reed and Caroline to work together?” She tilts her head toward my future sister-in-law, whose mouth tips up in a smirk. “All that effort just to get them to see how perfect they were for each other.”

  “For the record,” Caroline says, “I’d like to think Reed and I would have found our way together eventually anyway, but Lexi’s intervention definitely played a key role.”

  “That’s not the only reason I set it up,” I add. “I did it to help a worthy cause.”

  Sylvia’s eyes bug slightly as she gives me a skeptical look.

  I laugh. “Okay, so I helped two worthy causes at the same time. But how could I not? I knew they were meant to be together.” I turn my gaze on Caroline. “But we’re talking about two very stubborn people here, and sometimes drastic times call for drastic measures.”

  Caroline’s grin grows wider as she starts sketching again.

  Sylvia slides off the table. “I’ll be honest, when you first told me about your plan last fall, I thought you were crazy. But when it actually worked, I decided you were a mad genius.”

  I roll my eyes with a snort. “No need to kiss my ass. I already told you that I’d give you my notes from the ethics class you missed yesterday.”

  She grins and gives me a half-shrug. “I mean it. You’re a natural, Lexi. You’re a born problem solver. No hemming and hawing for you.” She crosses her legs and leans forward. “Take the Middle Tennessee Children’s Charity. Sure, maybe you didn’t get involved for purely altruistic reasons—”

  “Hey!”

  “—but you saw a great organization that could use some fresh blood and ideas. And now look at everything you’re doing with them. And you’re only a sophomore in college. Imagine what you’ll accomplish when you graduate. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if Monroe Industries gave you a job as soon as you get your degree.”

  Little does she know my family owns Monroe Industries, the international multi-million dollar corporation that funds the foundation and that my parents expect me to fulfill some role in the corporation one day.

  “I’m just glad I sat next to you in statistics last August. Otherwise I probably wouldn’t have gotten involved with the charity, which will look great on my resume.”

  “I didn’t ask you because we’re friends, Sylvia. I asked you because you’re a great asset. The fact that we’re friends is bonus.”

  She waves her hands up and down the length of her body. “No, I’ll tell you what the real bonus is having a reason to look hot.” She’s wearing a short, tight grey dress that shows cleavage. Her brown hair is curly and teased and her makeup is just as dramatic as mine. She looks amazing. “I can’t even remember the last time I got dressed up.”

  I sigh. “Neither can I.”

  She gives me a sad smile. “I still can’t believe you and Brandon broke up. Why would he go back to his ex? You two were perfect for each other.”

  A heavy weight crushes my chest, just another reminder of my emotional scars. “Some things just aren’t meant to be.”

  Caroline’s attention is back on me. Both of them are clearly hoping for more details. But they’re about to be disappointed.

  “You already know what happened. He went home for Christmas break and got back together with his high-school girlfriend. There’s not much else to tell.”

  “But things had been going so well with you two,” Sylvia says, kicking one foot into the air.

  “I was a rebound.” I like to tell myself this late at night as I try to fall asleep. I tell myself it doesn’t matter that I gave him up without a fight because I would have lost him anyway. Too bad I don’t believe it.

  “Ouch.”

  I shrug.

  “You know what they say about getting thrown off a horse. You need to get back up there on it.” She winks. “And by get back up on, I mean—”

  “Yeah, I get it.” I laugh, but it’s forced—her joke comes a little too close to home. “I’m too busy. School and work take all my time and energy.”

  “You know that’s just an excuse, don’t you?” Caroline asks. “I was busy with the fashion show and I still found time for Reed.”

  “Excuse or not, this is my choice.” I put enough force into my words to get them to drop the subject. “Working on the summer program for the kids is my focus right now. I’m still trying to find the right location.”

  “I thought you had a place.”

  “We do, and it’ll work, but it’s the local park. I’d like to have a variety of activities for the kids every day. I’m putting together a proposal to take to my advisor, and it’s taking up all my spare time. The partnership between the university and the charity has gone well so far, but this will really take things up a notch.”

  Sylvia narrows her eyes suspiciously. “So, I know the basics, of course, but what’s your plan for the expansion of the program?”

  “Well, the charity’s after-school program has done a great job with helping kids who are struggling in their academic work. Caroline found that out firsthand last fall when she met Desiree.” My brother’s girlfriend gives me a soft smile. Desiree was a girl Caroline discovered on her first visit to the tutoring center. The little girl reminded Caroline so much of herself at that age that she came up with her own line of children’s clothing for the fashion show. “But we all know that kids lose a lot of information over the summer and lower-income kids are at a greater disadvantage than upper-socioeconomic income children.” I pause, certain they’ll think I’m crazy. I’ve never told them this much about my plan before. “So I’m proposing that we have a summer university for middle-schoolers.”

  Sylvia raises her eyebrows. “I thought the idea was to get them to do fun things. No one wants to go to summer school.”

  “They will if the right classes are offered.” I give Caroline a pleading look. “Like how to design your own clothes from thrift store finds or a fun interactive chemistry class. Classes where they’ll actually learn something and keep their minds active, but they’ll have fun too. Plus, a lot of these kids don’t plan to go to college. If they spend some time on the campus and in the classrooms, they might realize it’s not such a scary place. Of course, this all depends on if the chancellor agrees.”

  Sylvia looks skeptical.

  “I think it’s a wonderful idea,” Caroline says. “Why are you worried about that?”

  “I’m asking for classroom space to augment the outdoor space we already have. And even if the university helps with that, there will be a million other things to do. We’ll have to find the instructors, coordinate with them to come up with classes…”

  “Okay, Lexi.” Caroline holds up her hands. “Slow down. You’re right. This is a huge undertaking. Why didn’t you tell me more about it before now?”

  “I wanted to sort out the details in my head first.”

&nbs
p; “I see what you mean about there not being much time. It’s already the end of February. If you’re going to implement the program this summer, you needed to have it in place, like yesterday.”

  “I know.”

  “So why not hold off a year?”

  “Because what if there’s one kid we can help this year, and he slips through the cracks just because I didn’t want to work too hard?”

  “Oh, Lexi.” Caroline sets down her notebook and pulls me into a big hug. “You have such a big heart, but you need to remember that you can’t save them all.”

  “You try to,” I say.

  She grins. “Fair enough. But this is a huge task that will take months to organize. There probably isn’t enough time.”

  I stiffen.

  She squeezes me again. “But you know that I of all people understand. Let me help.”

  “And me too,” Sylvia says.

  Tears sting my eyes. I’m blessed to have such amazing friends.

  Chapter Two

  Ben

  My eyes sink closed and my cheek falls out of my open palm, jerking me awake. I look around to see if anyone notices, but I’m in the back row and the professor is looking at her notes. I sit up straighter, trying to shake off my drowsiness, but it hangs on like a whore to a rich john.

  I glance down at my notes and up at the graph projected on the wall, wondering how much of the lecture I’ve missed. This might just be an intro course, but I hate history, which is part of the reason I put it off until the final semester of my senior year. The combination of the class’s nine a.m. start time, my shift ending at two a.m. at the bar, and my strong dislike of the subject matter means I tend to nap in here a lot. But whether or not I like Intro to American History, at fourteen hundred dollars per fucking credit hour, I hate to miss a single minute. I estimate I just pissed away fifty bucks with that nap and I didn’t even get a wet dream out of it.